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Ronaldo to leave at the half

Guarantee you his optimism left long ago

ETH playing 5d chess, Ronaldo wouldn't walk off the pitch if he's subbed on

Ten Haag to leave at the half.

Brighton have scored 6 goals in a row now vs Man U

6 goals in a row *so far*

"This is the worst performance of United's season" "Worst performance of their season *so far*"

That's harsh. You could argue it's the best we've seen them play all season

Hopefully it's also the best we see them play all season.

In that case I'm open to welcoming another United to the Championship, enjoy Reading away lads

Hey Reading away was a nice day out in pre season.

:)

You can see the pain behind the smile.

It's the dead eyes

Like a dolls eyes

When he comes at ya, he doesn't seem to be living.

Until he bites ya, and the black eyes roll over white

What are you doing? Are you doing the speech from Jaws? Are you doing Jaws? We don't have time for this shit it's serious.

If only “There’s a real sense of _____ in the United dressing room” made any actual difference.

Sub in the king

Ronaldo is already in the highway going home

Along with 18 other players that left early that day too i would imagine?

yup, probably took the team bus. Now the team can do the walk of shame home

On Sunday, the King Sits.

Grahampottered.

🤗🫂

Go to the gym

🛁📻 or 🔫?

🚂

Same shit, different season

Half that team just can't be bothered to defend

Not much effort to attack either

Good thing they’re so good in the mid…

It's what happens when you insist to carry on with the same shit players

The Midfield is still McFred💀

I mean yea, we're starting most of the clowns responsible for last season's shit show.

It's not really surprising. I'd have just about any midfield duo from about 80% of the other PL teams over ours. Even teams like Southampton, Aston Villa, Newcastle, Leeds, have better pairings in the midfield than we do. It was quite predictable to see Brighton crowd the middle, put a man on McTominay and another on Fred, and just easily catch them out and attack directly behind our defense. Yet, we don't have the quality to resist the press, and play through lines to punish them for it.

Lindelof is the best passing central defender, but media blames him instead of Maguire. Good thing he didnt play today so he couldnt get the blame.

[удалено]

See? We were right when we were telling you Ole in all along!

Put ole at the wheel again!

Wait no then theyd actually get Europe ETH in!

The song is too much fun to sing

pure vibes and an inflated number of penalties

But it worked

Decent to good man manager. At United it seems to be very important to know how to manage your squad

good shit

It's a good shit, pal

Gyms in Manchester about to be overbooked

Bath tubs filling as we speak. Toasters being moved from the kitchen

Shocking

There's a London joke in there somewhere

Naa meme someone last season (?) in a Utd mt got pissed off with the game and said he's going to the gym.

>Gyms in ~~Manchester~~ London about to be overbooked

Eric ten Weeks

💀

Not even Erik Eleven Hagg will fix this.

GONNA BE 4-0 AGAIN

BRIGHTON ARE FUCKING MASSIVE

Honestly, Brighton were fun to watch last season, and probably will be this season again. Potter is doing proper job with the club.

Arabic commentator said something like "This team looking great under Harry.. sorry.. Graham Potter"

Graham Potter and the Theatre of Dreams

Graham Proper.

Welbeck has been unbelievable!

United should sign him

Subscribe

[удалено]

What's not to feel good about?

:) …. :(

Why isn’t this on Comedy Central?

They only show re-runs earlier in the day.

Too tragic

You’re watching Premier League Comedy Central

Lmao💀

And people think De Jong wanted to come to this shit show 💀

Barca trying to violate the Human Rights convention by selling him to Man United

and Ronaldo is the anti-christ for not wanting to spend the twilight of his career playing for this joke

on the bright side if he stays with United he won't be playing Europa league next year

Conference League isn't exactly the bright side

You think we'd be in Europe?

Bold of you to assume United would get into Europe

Nah you don’t get it, he’s clearly ruining their “style of play” which evidently seems to be sucking a bag of dicks on the pitch.

Sucking a bag of dicks would look vastly more elegant than what we're witnessing.

The thing with Ronaldo is that he should have known what he was getting into, especially if he ended up returning for love of the club instead of going to City or what have you.

Ronaldo has endured abuse from fans all last season and is playing with a bunch of clowns. Really don't get why people make fun of him for wanting out.

He dares to have standards and will to win some trophies

Wonder how United fans will blame him for this

It's all about the deferred wage like united fans tell Do you imagine united board chasing a player who doesn't want them for 3 months No way it could happen right??

>Do you imagine united board chasing a player who doesn't want them for 3 months Yes.

Embarrassing

Ronaldo was clearly the problem.

They gonna rely on the “problem” again to patch it up in the second half💀

If de jong was liking the idea of chelsea before he definitely is loving it now. Wtf is a relationship with a manager when the team sucks and we are in the europa league :/

Soon we'll be feeling fortunate to qualify for Europa League, because this team is destined to finish midtable.

United getting schooled by Brigthon again lmao.

Never understood why United didn’t go all in for Potter.

But I do understand why Potter would have said no

Potter generally wants the entire club behind him, transfer strategy and all that. Doubt he'd get that at United.

Should have gone all in for Conte when they had the chance IMO.

That United vs Spurs game had some huge consequences. Conte would have been an immense appointment, but they stuck to Ole for another few weeks lol.

And thats the problem. Instead of having a plan United was being reactionary. Oh, we won so we are ok. Ole was done, done for a while so whether they won or lost to Spurs they should have had a plan to move on. They were like that meme of the dog smiling in the burning house saying "This is fine." Lol

This team is so bad. No manager in the world can make something of this shit

They have pretty much the exact same useless squad from last year. Martinez looks good so far, Eriksen is proven quality but putting a nice coat of paint on a turd doesn't change the fact it's still shit

Eriksen was excellent today IMO

That's what I hope everyone sees. It's time to start showing these players that this is unacceptable. Back the boss and get these twats out of the club.

Who needs to go so? Cos whenever there’s comments like this, there’s very few players that multiple fans can agree *need* to be jettisoned.

Fans have been wanting McFred gone, or at least not starters, for years now. It should start there. They put in shit performances week in and week out yet still start each week. Shows the others that they can be shit and it doesn’t really matter

Maguire, Fred, McTominay everyone agrees on. AWB, Dalot, Rashford, Ronaldo most people I would say agree on.

I'm pretty sure most people who saw Fred playing further forward last year are happy with him as a rotation option. I think opinion is mixed on Dalot. I haven't really seen fans actually saying Rashford needs to go. Most are happy to give him this season.

I can't believe we are a club that starts fucking Dalot now. The guy is useless. And I've defended Maguire for so long but today is the last straw. He provides zero leadership on the pitch and his positioning as a CB is absolute trash. He's not directly at fault for both goals but he also isn't anywhere he should be to help prevent those goals. The defense is a complete shambles and that's what you get when you have 2 - 3 useless players in a back 4 (verdict is still out on Martinez).

The theatre of memes

HAHAAHAHHA

Why do i feel pain in your laugh?

United are diabolical. Midfield is none existent, attack wise they're as disappointing as a limp dick on a wedding night

How many months they have been pursuing FdJ yet they don't even have a proper CDM for many years.

United are a joke but that whole buildup was really nice from Brighton

There was no pressure on the Brighton players from start to finish

Legit. It’s like that mobile game where you have to draw trajectory of your passes and shots while the game is paused

Score Hero. De Gea isn't a Score Hero goalkeeper tho😭

I prefer Retro Goal. And it's NFL counterpart Retro Bowl.

United was trying to press but that back heel from Trossard(?) was *chefs kiss*

He's so good. It's a shock how nobody came calling for him the same way they did for Cucurella or Bissouma

Yes trossard is such a gem.

They are a joke but still feel Brighton don't get the credit they deserve. They have an established way of playing and execute it time and time again. Small club but very, very capable.

Everyone should know how good Brighton are, they are always a very hard team to play

SACKED IN THE MORNING

At least Ole had good vibes

Pep must be happy he's not the baldest fraud in Manchester

Maybe not the fraudest bald

Lets sign this Trossard guy, he is better than whatever we got going on

Trossard has been phenomenal

Tbf he had a decent last season so you might be right lol

Trossard is larger than your club

NOOOOOOOO THEY THOUGHT DE JONG WANTED TO JOIN THEM 💀💀💀

Death. Taxes. United fans having their hopes crushed in the first game of the season

Anyone idiotic enough to still have hope at this point deserves to have it crushed.

Lmao congrats on winning preseason by the way

Only one team can win the preseason

Hahahaha....I thought they'd at least look good for a half before falling to old habits. Good Lord. The banter boys are back

always preferred my managers with hair

OLE?

It is amazing that Ole managed to produce the best football from this squad.

It’s not looking good brev

Who had Pascal Gross to score a hatrick then?

HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHA

the king is needed

Too late for that.

Damn these lot are shite

You don't have the facilities to bench Ronaldo big man

Fucking Hell ManU is garbage

Ten hag’s face looks like he’s about to submit resignation at half time.

Garbage but in gold colour bag this time

I love this so much.

Give us back Sancho

Hahahahaha

The FA have fucked it if anyone but Graham Potter is next England Manager. Man's an absolute wizard

If you're United, how do you even fix this

You start by getting a competent board and DoF, and then by spending another billion quid, but this time competently.

Bring back Ole

Bring Ole back

Trust the process

Caicedo is a gem

His one two in the middle of the park for the first goal was nice. He’s quality.

What's El Plan in Dutch?

Please let Ronaldo leave and dont bring poor De jong to this shit

Lol these daft twats passed on Conte

“We need a rebuild, Conte’s only a short term fix”. That El Sackico game around November last season is even more hilarious now in hindsight, every Spurs fan I saw was thrilled with the loss and they were being mocked by United fans just accusing them of being “salty”. Ole’s job only lasted another couple of weeks beyond that but still too late for Conte

There may not be a more consequential game in the last 2 decades of Spurs than El Sackicko. Joe Lewis even finally injected the club. Spurs were on the brink of a full blown rebuild and conte turned that around in half a season.

Conte wouldn't have made it through the first training session lmao

Conte probably wouldn’t have been able to do shit with this lot in fairness, but this clubs decision making never doesn’t depress me

The Glazers probably didn't want Conte because he'd actually demand changes and players like he has at Tottenham, who have come out and spent really well on some really good players. The powers that be at United probably didn't want someone who'd clash with them like Conte would

Been saying for a while now United are going to have to take the Arsenal route and just clean out the squad completely. Needs to be reworked almost top-to-bottom.

Yeah I can see why Ronaldo wants to get the duck out.

Oh god, not the duck. Have mercy.

lol never change man united

And they had the gall to cry about Ronaldo wanting to leave.

I swear he probably prefers to play Europa with Roma than stay

it's a new Era guys

Frenkie de Gone

Ronaldo is warming up

Can’t believe people blame Ronaldo for not wanting to spend his twilight years with this mess of a team

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH

Ronaldo's fault. He doesn't press! I hope he leaves NOW. He held united back last year and he's doing the same now. United would win the league without him.

Doesn’t even celebrate LOL

Stop the fucking game

4-0 again? 🤣

*chef's kiss* Beautiful stuff

Fade me

this is fucking beautiful

ETH at the wheel

Genuinely not even his fault. Players aren't good enough, I don't know how United are still expecting Fred and Mcsauce to work in the middle. Dalot is a reserve team player that's conned himself into the first team Sancho, Rashford and Fernandez seem to have given up as footballers. There's no passion or desire to play, it's sad really because ETH is a superb manager. United getting him Eriksen and Martinez is like asking him to stop the Titanic sinking by giving him two wine corks to patch up the damage

Yeah mcfred has no presence lol. It’s insane Brighton literally just walk through their entire midfield. They also have nobody else to stick into the midfield so yeah, this is gonna be a rough season. Let’s just hope they stick with eth when he eventually finishes 5-6th. The defense is okay but, this team is really disfunctional right now.

All Ronnie's fault, he isn't pressing enough

We want a hat-trick.

So what's a reasonable length of time for Ten Haag out? Though it would help if the club didn't waste half a window trying to sign a player who doesn't want to join and going after other targets